Chump Change

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Stephen Burrows

(sad, but true)

Born in Dayton, Ohio. It is during these early formative years that Steve's grandmother first declares he is an idiot savant - minus the savant part.

Weaned and reared in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Beer Capital of the World. It is worth noting that while most toddlers appear to be drunk, there's a very good chance Steve was.

First major influence appears when Dad wins it all playing the saw on The Gong Show.

Attends high school in Greendale, Wisconsin - "The Garden Community". Is removed from sophomore biology class for mounting his fetal pig head on the bubbler.

Returns to Ohio as a freshman at Bowling Green State University, where Steve learns such invaluable life skills as the shooting of a beer bong and the lighting of one's own flatulence.

Transfers to the University of Wisconsin where, in a stunning turn of events, Steve actually studies.

Graduating with a double major, Steve moves to Chicago and inexplicably becomes a singing telegram messenger. Comedy career begins inadvertently while performing a strip-o-gram.

Joins Second City director Del Close in the Baron's Barracudas improvisational comedy troupe that perfects the now acclaimed 'Harold'. Simultaneously lands a job as a P.A. on the Hollywood film, The Untouchables, where Steve is immediately read the riot act by Sean Connery.

Meets future wife at O'Hare airport while wearing a cabana suit. After wooing her in Mexico, and chasing her to Germany, they marry in Las Vegas.

Second major influence appears when Steve sees Siegfried and Roy at the Mirage.

The newlyweds head to L.A. where they quickly move into an apartment building managed by a man named God. Steve continues his way up the production ladder, working on the swing gang, as a lead man and as a second A.D., on everything from commercials to MOW's. One notable highlight includes seeing Buddy Ebsen naked.

Makes first film, The Soldier of Fortune, a short about his actual appearance and subsequent humiliation on the Wheel of Fortune game show. The film wins a litany of film festivals, but is forced out of competition when Steve is sued by Merv Griffin.

Becomes full time writer / performer with The Groundlings comedy troupe. This leads to stints on Seinfeld and America's Funniest Home Videos, as well as a cavalcade of TV spots including Miller Lite, McDonald's, Wausau Insurance, Apple Computers, Direct TV, A & W, Snackwells and Selsun Blue - where Steve is perhaps best-known for his convincing portrayal as "the guy with psoriasis".

After optioning several scripts and writing a feature for 20th Century Fox, Steve makes his directorial feature film debut with Chump Change (Fame, Fortune, Cheese & Beer) starring Tim Matheson, Traci Lords, Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara, Fred Willard and Abe Vigoda.

While waiting for third major influence to appear, it occurs to Steve that seeing Buddy Ebsen naked might very well qualify.

Bowling average 189.

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